8.07.2005

Animal Rights Activism: Stupidity At Its Best

One thing that tends to amuse me is the constant hype of liberal animal rights activists. They're never consistent: they only care about the cute animals. "Oh, the spotted owl is getting injured! Oh, some desert prairie dog is going extinct!" Or my favorite: "The dolphins are getting caught in the tuna net! The dolphins are getting caught in the tuna net!" Oh yeah? What about the tuna getting caught in the tuna net? But tuna are fish, and fish are ugly, not cute. They're inconsistent. "But dolphins are second to humans in intelligence!" No, they aren't. I know, I've watched these guys. They do five shows a day, seven days a week, for a sardine. "Hey Braniac! Get a union!" Besides, they're always talking about how we are being 'in-humane'. The word 'humane' comes from the root 'human'. You want me to treat animals like humans? Guess again, buddy. Have you ever seen those big TV fishermen? They're the most 'inhumane' people you'll ever see! They hang a poor half-dead worm on a hook, catch it in a fish's throat, then drag the fish all over the lake by its vocal cords! "He's a fighter, watch him fight, oooooh he can fight, look at him fihgt, this fell's fighting like mad, he's a fighter . . . whoo he's a fighter." Look, mister, get a thesaurus! "Dinosaurs are dead." No, no, I'm just kidding, the poor guy couldn't read. They yank the fish out of the drink, let everyone take pictures: "Look what I did, look what I did!" then rip the hook out of the side of his face and throw it back in. The fish is thinking, "What was that all about? Thanks to you, now I'm a freak! Eat me, for crying out loud!" A whale comes up on the beach. We spend millions of dollars puttin them back in the water. We fall in the water? The whales eat us. Eat them back! It's their way. In Him, D3 A large amount of the humor in this article is taken from Christian Comedian Brad Stine's speech, Put A Helmet On.

3 comments:

Jake said...

WOW!!! That's the best thing I've read all week! Awesome post man.

MVB said...

Yeah, you are absolutely right!

Song said...

Hilarious... but true. :D